Confidence is acclaimed the be the most critical psychological characteristic influencing performance. Confidence is basically a belief or trust in our abilities and the natural laws around us. True confidence is measured by how deep that belief is inside of us and is influenced by not only what we say to ourselves, but how we say it. The fact is when it comes to performance it doesn’t matter how able or talented we are. If we don’t have any confidence, the rest doesn’t matter.
True confidence is assertive. It’s having a nice balance—not to any extreme—we don’t want to be communicating passively or aggressively to ourselves. Believing that we are better than others is not confidence it is arrogance. Arrogance is saying to yourself, “I’m good and he stinks.” True confidence, on the other hand, is just a “I’m good,” mentality. If we talk to ourselves in a passive way saying, “I’m not as good as he is,” we are crippling our confidence. True confidence is knowing that we can do it.
Tone of Voice
We need to communicate and choose the right words to say, but it is not just the words, it is our tone of voice that matters. Research shows that 7% of how we communicate is verbal, but 38% is tone of voice. So we don’t just say the words, we have to say them with the right passion. It’s not just saying “I can do this,” that matters. It is saying, “I can do this,” with a firm tone.
At times when there are things that are trying to get us out of the present we have to will ourselves to stay in the moment. When these moments come we need to tell ourselves with the right tone of voice, “I can do this. Live in the present, right here right now.” The self-talk in our heads needs to be very firm and strong. As we have the right tone of voice we push out doubts from our mind and it helps us to stay in control of our thoughts and keep focused on the task at hand. That is the key—strong and firm words.
In addition to our tone of voice we want to focus on our body language. A strong, firm posture. We can’t be telling ourselves, “I can do this, I’m good, I’m great,” when we are shaking all over the place. We have to have control of the body. We have to say the right words, say them in the right tone of voice, but we also have to back it up with the right body language—a good strong posture. We shouldn’t be slouching or moping around. We got to stand tall and strong with our head up and a smile on our face. That is how we communicate true confidence.
How do we develop and show true confidence? It’s simple, plug a plan into step 2 of our High Performance Journal. For example, we can simply write, “Be firm and strong,” or “Strong, firm posture,” to work on our body language and tone of voice. As we do this we will acquire the right skills and build true confidence.
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