As we age, we unintentionally allow our surroundings and the culture around us to have an impact on our mindset.


With time we tend to start trying to do what we believe we should do to please others and fulfill the social norms of our culture. When we allow our surroundings to impact us we can loose a sense of self-identity and who we are. Not that we want to break societal norms, but we need to be who we truly are.

To be ourselves and to trust our instincts we need to rely on the gut feelings that help us in our everyday performances. One very high performing athlete, a snowboarder, was having trouble not allowing the outside world around him to influence himself as he aged. The most important skill he used to help him maintain control of his own mind was using the 3 to 1 rule.

The 3 to 1 Rule

The 3 to 1 rule is the skill of evaluating each day by looking back and writing down three things you did well, and only one thing that you can do better in the future. At the end of each day we need to ask ourselves, “What was the single most important thing I did today? What was the second? And what was the third? And finally, what is the one thing that I can do better?”

As we constantly do this, we develop the right muscle memory in our subconscious mind. The conscious mind (what we choose to think about) is the gateway into the subconscious mind. As we manage our conscious mind and occupy it with what we to occupy it with (the 3 to 1 rule) we are conditioning the subconscious the way we want.

By conditioning our subconscious in the way we want we prevent the surrounding negative environment and culture from impacting us. It protects us. We need to be in control of our own life and how we do that is by managing the conscious mind. When we do so we trust ourselves because we are creating the right muscle memory. If we let other people’s thoughts and ideas’ into our subconscious how could we trust ourselves? We can’t. And if we do, our fear and anxiety only goes up and will interfere with our potential.


Make sure at the end of each day you evaluate the day by listing three things you did well and one thing to do better. You can do this in your Mental Skills Journal located in The Fearless Mind resource center.

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